“Rest” is not the first word that comes to mind when I think of myself and my lifestyle. Recent world events have me questioning what exactly rest is in the face of constant change. The tech layoffs (for now, I remain unaffected), end of Twitter, and Daylight Savings coupled with Eclipse season create the perfect combination for a change cocktail. Yum.

I’ve been presented with a choice within my career to remain in my position or evolve and learn something new. Though still within the same company and organization, I’d be taking on a new area of learning that interests me. This new change could present me with an opportunity to rest. Like, really rest. Like, log off at 5 PM and not think about work until the next day.

In my current position it’s been hard to catch a break, or relax. I support global teams in Singapore and London, which leads to weird work hours and limited availability on certain weeknights. Conversely, choice mornings are spent supporting teams in areas of the world where 7 AM for me is 3 PM for them. It’s hard to be in 4 places at once. It’s also hard to put out fires and maintain relationships, kindness and patience in this type of environment. The choice I’ve been offered is simple. I can stay in the same position supporting global teams, with major changes in structure and management, or I can move teams to learn something new with less management changes. 

The choices are still different and come with a great deal of change. One choice comes with a complete change of management structure and added characters, some I get along with and some I don’t. But it’s a familiar area and one I excel in with kind stakeholders who I deeply trust. The other choice comes with learning a new area, but keeping a chain of command I’m familiar with, who I also trust heavily. In each scenario there are stakeholders that support me. It’s almost like I have to choose between the people within the business or the people within my organization. A better work life balance, or less freedom. Giving up some form of control and influence for the opportunity to continue growing in a different way. It’s change dressed up in different clothes. 

I’ve identified that I am upset that I have to make a choice to begin with, though thankful I have the ability to decide. I’m taking a moment to recognize how grateful I am to work for an organization I believe in that protects products and people I care for. But I’m big sad. This has been a big year of change. Upon further reflection, the entire life has been littered with change. Each type of “change” I encounter comes with a big lesson learned, even if it’s just the acceptance of the change itself. As someone who craves consistency and stability, it’s challenging to lean into the uncomfortable and become friends with change.  

I think I naively came into this life expecting to have a good time and encounter minimal amounts of hard change. HA. Instead, I know I’ve had to face hard themes of hurt and truth. All symptoms of change and of the human experience. I understand and am on my way to some form of acceptance of this change. For now, I’m grateful to have the human experience of this life, but will digitally pout until this season of change passes, ushering in an even greater period of change that’s always right around the corner. Thank you, Universe.