I’m a year away from the peak of my Saturn return. Right now, life is sweet enough to take a moment to express gratitude. 

I have such rich friendships. My friends and I watch films, each other and explore our city. We laugh at hockey games and YouTube videos. We host and attend game nights, holiday parties (yes, Hallmark holidays too), and take walks around our favorite neighborhoods. We cheer each other on through individual and shared successes and sit with each other when we experience loss and grief. I’m solving complex problems in my day to day, building a career I love in a field that’s so exciting to me, and making strides in my own mental health with regular therapy visits and medication for anxiety. 

If I reflect on where I was three years ago (in a relationship I was unhappy with, struggling to find meaningful community, working through unmedicated anxiety), to where I am now (in a happy relationship, with a perfect apartment and able to put myself first). I’m happy. I made every right decision I could. The only fault I can gather is that I did not communicate my thoughts with kindness, and I’m taking that feedback with grace. 

I’m struggling to settle into a good routine. Some days, my work takes up all of my spoons and I’m left with little to recover. I find I feel better when I move my body, spend time outside and leave my phone in another room. The things I struggle with have little impact on me at the moment, but compound over time. I find myself having the same conversions over and over again with those I love, promising a different outcome but failing to free myself from having the conversation in the first place. 

I’m grateful for my community of friends who know me well enough to have tough conversations with me. I’m grateful to share space with my friends and parallel play, explore the city we share, and have cozy game nights. I’m equally as grateful for my own space that allows me to express my creative freedom. My home feels like a true extension of me, with deep colored rugs, color in almost almost crevice, and art that inspires me that adorns my walls. I’m proud of my past and future self who has evolved in this space. I’m equally as grateful for a career that allows me the comfortability to relax in my space and plan for my future. I know life won’t always be this calm and my struggles will come in waves. At this stage in my life, I’m grateful to have what I have. Material or non-material, I’ve been lucky to experience softness and abundance from the actions of my past self. For that, I am grateful and welcome in whatever life has in store for me.